[x]

ThoughtsI'm so sick of not being perfect
I'm sick of hurting people
I'm tired of doing nothing right
I'm tired of holding back
Let me scream
Let me lash out
Let me show you the other side of me
And try telling me you still know me

Everything confined inside
It builds until I almost burst
My eyes grow heavy
My fingers claw at my arms
Tear out my hair
Twitch for the blade
I hold back
But I can only hold so much

Then I do it again
I screw up
I hurt
I break
And I fall again
Self-loathing is almost a comfort

I often wonder why
Why am I this way
Why am I messed up
Answers won't be found

I'm sick of hating myself
I'm sick of hidin

Hear You SayI just want to hear you say
That you don't know what you'd do without me
It doesn't have to be every day
But just enough to make me see

I just want to hear you say
That you miss me sometimes
Maybe turn my skies from grey
And get me through these hard times

I just want to hear you say
That you'll never forget
When our paths went the same way
But I guess nothing is set

Turn On The Dark

When fragile hopes and fears collide
It waits for you on the other side

I can feel the tremors in my soul
I've grown afraid of the masquerade.
Barely holding on, I'm losing control
Wide awake, I confide in the shade.

Sinking so slowly down the drain
Much like the purple pill I swallow.
A voice unheard is a voice in vane
Black rain falls and teardrop's follow.

Shadows loom throughout the room
They cover my eyes like a veil.
Just flip the switch, it'll be over soon
Just pull the curtain over the pale.

The transition rattles my psyche at first
Yet it's a feeling I've always invited.
For when my body becomes submersed
I discover

How Dare You?How Dare you suck out the strength in my limbs?
How Dare you distract me in lectures with a look,
A flicker of interest?
How Dare you smile knowingly at me, as broadly
As the ocean?
How Dare you know I'd do anything for you?
How Dare you wring my heart in my chest ruthlessly,
And make my cheeks burn?
How Dare you call my name, your tongue tethering to it
As if it were your own?

How Dare you?

How Dare you entice my ears with your jokes, your laugh? "You get to hear my
Droning voce," you say as you glance my way.
How Dare you twist my emotions into a salad of anxiety
And anticipation?
How Dare you holster down that which is sava

I think notTo you and to all
do you see my pain?
This agony within?
I think not

If you did
Would you let me be?
Who I am supposed to be?
I think not

Pain I feel
But I hide it so deeply
No one can see it
For I am hiding with invisibility
I can not see
I can not think
This agony, do you see?
I think not

Come up to breathe
The pain in me screams
I shout for help
But none received

I pull it out
Drag it across my wrist
Red springs up
Runs down my arm
I see the pain
Draining away
Do you?
I think not

SilenceSilence is the slowest form of suicide
Silence is what keeps us apart
Silence is the scream that everyone shouts

Silence is the lost dream we all have
Silence is the blood we all have spilled
Silence is what keeps us together

Silence is god in the air
Silence is the death you can bear
Silence is the reason you care

Silence is what creeps upon you at night
Silence is the chills in your spine
Silence is the reason
And the only reason
Why you haven't said these words yourself

Help us...She sits in that dark corner again
eyes closed so tight
nails cutting deep into the soft hand
She looks so calm
Don't she?
Oh please, please, tell us
Tell us how to help her
What should we do?
A lonely tear leaves her cheek
lands in her lap with a quiet little thud
A quick silent sob slips through thick throat
wonder when the last time she took a deep breath was
Oh please, please, tell us
Tell us how to help her
What should we do?
She looks up
with panic in her eyes
She reach out
with a bloody hand
those pretty little fingernails has cutted far too deep again
She opens her mouth to say something
and the room goes silent

HeartI left my heart's door open,
But no one walked in.
I laughed but no one laughed with me.
All that's left is a symphony.
It's coming from the back of my heart.
I'm waiting for someone to hear it.
Will you listen?

Cold Heart ExodusNo other worldly tear can make me burn faster than you
My tear, let me hold you. I am so sick and I'm so weak.
Let me whisper my name into your cold heart and let it bleed into me.
For now I know, this elder exodus is nowhere near truth (it'll never be).

Only me, there's only me in this abyss. Only you will know!
There's only us, there's only you… of us there's only two.
Let the wits flow. Let this feeling pass away with time.
Did you know that feeling lonely and content at the same time is a rare kind of happiness?

Now you know, so just leave me be! Leave me alone, I must be happy.
Cold Heart Exodus, I want to leave it all behi

I wanted to tell you,Don't listen to the words that come out of my mouth,
They're lies...

Watch my action the'll tell you the truth..

I don't understand honey...What?
I don't know what you're talking about honey
When you go on and on about all the bad shit you see
Every word you speak is leaking
leaking of sorrow
leaking of pain
I don't see it like that hun'
'Cause all I see is the good times we had
I see your smiling face
'cause you beat me in this game too
I hear your laughter
and teasing words
as I'm being all silly again
I feel your arms around me
as you pull me closer
in a hug to make me feel safe again
'cause you've scared me with that spider-thing again
All I see is smiling faces and sparkle-eyes
All I hear is a laughing couple sharing the secret of love
All I feel is butter

SixtyThere's nothing you can do
And nothing I could do
It's all over
Yeah it's all over
We can't start over
Can't do it over
It's too late for that
Too late for that now

It's always older
Never colder
But forever's over

We could run away
Run away
Yeah we could run away
Run away, run away
Run away, run away
We could run away
Go away
Run away

Come along out
Throw it around
Oh throw it about
We're all immortal
They're not immortal
Not immortal
Go away from here
Get away from here now

It's never older
Always colder
And forever's ever

We could run away
Run away
Yeah we could run away
Run away, run away
Run away, run aw

Choice the passionSay yes
Your heart
Say no
Your brain
Which do you listen to when both can be wrong?
Break your heart with one word,
Or lose your mind with another?
Some scars just don't heal,
And the pain keeps you from moving forward.
But then there's loss,
When the greatest,
Most needed don't return.

A choice,
Decision of logic and irrefutable chance,
Bringing you to where you were,
Or taking you in eternal cycle.
Embrace the indescribable hurt,
Or barricade the broken walls?
Give your heart in open trust,
Only to have it treated careless?
More scars to bleed meaningless words.
Sometimes want is easy,
Always need is hard.
But then t

What I do for youYou'll never understand me
That normal girl you think you see
I should stop trying to please you
Trying to be who you want me to be

You make me a liar, a coward, and a fake
Some days this facade is more than I can take
Still it seems you want to pretend
That I'm an innocent sheep, and not a rattlesnake

But how come it seems you are the only one
That gets to show their true self, have the fun
And I'm a lowly pile of trash
Undeserving of the sun

You make me feel like a doll
I bend and twist, for you I fall
Down to the place where my memories lie
But you don't want to hear them at all

Do you? No
I try, but there's only so far I

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More from ~Aifos96

The starsI look up at the stars tonight
and hey look honey! They shine for you
Like the little star you are, they shine for you
With a light so pure
a light which brings hope...

When I first met you
something felt … different
something I haven't felt before
But I could never have guessed
that you would mean so much to me
that I would care this much
that you would be the one I miss the most
the only person I want near when the nights gets cold
and the demons of loneliness comes closer and closer...

When I first met you
I saw those deep blue eyes
with a painful story to tell
I saw a happy smile
to light up the world
I saw such a

HomeHere we go again
Tears running down my cheeks
I thought I had left that shit behind
I thought I was done crying now
I thought I was stronger
but honey for you I'm so vulnerable
When you're not here with me a piece is missing
I just wanna go home
and home is wherever you are
Never before I wanted something so much like I want you
I want you to be here with me
Keeping those demons away
Making me laugh when I just feel like breaking down
Oh honey, end this crying and take me home...

Feeling fear, feeling safeDon't try to take care of me I say
I'm not a little child
I don't need you
I say
I pretend to be strong
Show off this armour and wont let anyone near
Wear this mask of strength and hope
No one can hurt me
Yeah, yeah, that's what I say...
Sometimes all I really want to do is to crawl up in your arms
Then I want you to hold me tight and whisper in my ear
"I'm always by your side"
Sometimes I don't wanna be strong anymore
Sometimes I wanna be a scared little girl
Protected by you
I want to feel safe
Not because I wouldn't be able to take care of myself
No, because you will murder the person who tries to hurt me
I want to stand

AloneI see you walk away
A hole starts to open up in my chest
It's so ... dark
The train is near
You can't stay, we both know it
But how am I supposed to keep the smile on my face when you're not here any longer?

Your soft touch on my hand
It says it all
How you press it gently
You don't have to speak a word my dear
I see it all
But how am I supposed to keep my laugh real when you're not here?

I can feel it in your hug
How you never want to let go
Oh, me neither honey, me neither
I won't ever turn the back on you
But how am I supposed to keep the hope alive when you're not here with me?

Everything you said
that laugh
all the cra

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Submitted: September 25, 2012
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My secret

by ~Aifos96, Sep 25, 2012, 12:01:04 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Traditional Fixed Forms

Let me tell you a secret
So listen carefully...
If you
if you take my hand
but let me lead
If you
If you would just trust me
when I say I'm not like them
If you
If you show me mercy
by wiping the tears of my cheeks when I'm sad
If you
If you let me feel home, safe and protected
just hug me tight and never let go
If you
If you would just have faith in me
Then I promise you one thing
I promise you will never ever have to be alone again
I promise you that love...