First kiss

- Okay.

She says with judgement, but still she's keeping it together.

- Okay so you don't want me anymore? You loved me but it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. So now you want her, instead. Is that what you're telling me?

The voice is steady but her eyes is far too shiny. He knows she is breaking, on the inside. Just as he know he will never be able to repair that crack.

- It's not you honey...
- "it's me" I get it.

She bites him off, fast. But he know she's not irritated, she's hurt.

- I'm sorry...

He lift his eyes from the ground and looks at her, so ashamed, so sad. He never wished for it to end this way. He never wanted to see her hurt. If he only could, he would erase all her pain from this world. He would set her free.
She know that look, so filled with guilt. She has seen that face before. She likes to think of it like he has kneeled before the queen once again. But then again, she is the one hurting here. It was her heart on the line and he messed up. Feelings like hurt, anger, grief, jealously and oddly enough; compassion, all fight within her mind. She takes a breath to calm those anxious nerves before she looks at him with newfound strength and says:

- Well I've always wanted you to have this anyway.

He lift an eyebrow while the tear-eyed girl stretches up to kiss him, leaving him breathless. He's not pushing her away, he's not responding the kiss, he's just surprised. After all he has done, after all the pain he has caused her, she gives him...

- What..?
- My first kiss.

She whispers with cheeks so red, at first too scared of the sudden bravery to look at him. But then she lift her eyes in defiance. After all, she has nothing left to loose.
He then remember. She has never kissed anyone before and she wanted to lay that with him. She wanted to give him one last thing. Something so precious. Because he know, he knows what that kind of stuff mean to her. And now she had given him her first kiss. He didn't know how to respond to such a thing, how he was allowed to respond. So he just pulls her close in one last try to tell her how sorry he is, one last try to tell her everything that has no words, one last try to make sure she knows how much she means to him. One last hug. She know what he is trying to say, she know what this means. So with an almost desperate desire she answer that last hug. That's when he whispers in her ear;

- I'll always remember you as one of my best friends.

She frowned her face, making her eyes close in pain. In resistence she answered:

- I'll always love you.

Her tone, it tells him of the pain. Her hardened grip, her body screams in anxious. He has to resist:

- I do love you.
- But it's not enough...

They let go and the tears are rolling down her cheeks. The dripping sorrow hits the ground. Now there is tears in his eyes too. He forces himself to turn around before she gets to see him cry. At least one promise that he can leave unbroken. So once and for all the girl has to see him turn around and walk away. She stands by to watch the love of her life, walk out of it...